Chocolate Eyes
by Mel966
Summary: Jacob reflecting on conflicting emotions about his imprint. Oneshot, spoilers for Breaking Dawn. Jacob & Nessie, theorized Jacob & Bella.


_Something I thought of and wondered if, at the end of Breaking Dawn, Jacob ever really thought about this. Please review and thank you. Jacob's point of view, and set after Breaking Dawn. All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer._

I sat in the tree with my head in my hands. It was all too much. Everything with the Volturi has settled well without any sort of fight, and I was grateful for that. My Nessie hadn't been hurt, and I thanked every deity in the universe for that. But in the aftermath of the almost-fight, some things that I had thought had disturbed me to no end. They reopened old wounds and took me back in my memories to a place I never tried to visit.

At one point, just before the standoff with the Volturi, Nessie had touched my cheek and closed her eyes. She wasn't showing me any memories; she was just doing it in an act of comfort, although I wasn't sure if the comfort was intended for me or if she had been comforting herself. I had placed my much larger hand over her tiny one, and her chocolate eyes opened. Chocolate. Much to my disgrace, when I saw how innocent and afraid she was, I immediately thought of Bella. Back when I considered her my Bella. Even now the thought makes me wince. Although Nessie is much too young for a serious relationship, I belong to her completely. But why do I keep thinking of Bella when I see her? I should think of Reneesmee when I look into her chocolate eyes, not Bella.

But Bella once had chocolate eyes, too. And I had loved them.

Stop it, Jake! I mentally chatised myself. She's like your mother-in-law now! Besides, you don't love her like you love Nessie.

And I was right. I didn't love Bella nearly as much as I loved Nessie. There was no competition between the two of them. I belonged to Nessie and Bella belonged to Edward. There shouldn't be any 'buts.'

But there was.

I groaned in frustration, tearing at my hair with my fingers. Why now? Why now of all times? Why right in the middle of a peaceful time? Why me? Sam never felt like this about Leah and Emily, did he? I'd have to ask him someday after we had figured out the entire two packs, two alphas mess.

"Jacob?" asked a quiet, musical voice that I would know anywhere. Bella.

I couldn't see her now. It was practically the worst possible time. I came out here to get away from all the vampires, to get away from her and her daughter most of all so that I could think.

"Edward said you needed to speak with me," she said quietly, leaning against the base of the tree I was in. Of course. Damn vampire and his mind reading. Of course he could hear every thought that crossed my mind. You should have left me alone to wallow, Edward.

"Jake, what's wrong?" she whispered, sounding like she would cry if she could. Ah, jeez. Not the stupid tears. My heart clenched at the thought of her being in pain. It's only because she's Nessie's mom, I told myself. It's only because of Nessie.

Even the tree probably knew I was lying.

"Jake..." The branches I was squatted on dipped lower towards the ground as Bella sat beside me, our arms not quite touching. "Tell me what's wrong," she said gently, placing her freezing hand on my arm.

I instinctively jerked away from the coldness and regretted it when I saw her hurt expression. "Cold," I mumbled, hoping she would realize it was not because I was mad at her or something.

"Right, sorry." Every breath I took she inhaled at the same moment. Did she have to do that? Make me feel like we were so in tune like that? Confuse me even more?

Finally, I broke the awkward silence. "Bells... do you ever think of how it could have been?" I choked out the words and couldn't bring myself to elaborate more. Please understand, Bella, I begged her silently.

She sighed and shifted closer so her head was resting on my shoulder. I had braced myself for the temperature that time, and didn't move away. "You mean, how we could have been?" she inquired. I nodded wordlessly against the top of her head. "Yes," she murmured. "I do."

That, more than anything else she could have said or done, calmed me down. My jumbled thoughts started to organize themselves into coherent sentences. "I do, too," I said quietly with a frown. "But it's wrong. I have Nessie, and you have Edward. Why are we feeling like..." I let my voice trail off, unsure of what to say.

"You are my best friend, Jacob. You always have been. You are a part of me. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be me," she whispered quietly. I nodded thoughtfully. It made sense. Bella loved a lot of people in lots of different ways. And it did define her character. She is my best friend, too... and she is a part of me. Irrevocably a part of me.

"And sometimes, I think about what I could be like right now, if vampires didn't exist. I would never have met Edward," she continued, her voice sounding slightly pained. "And you and I would probably be together. I can see it... you and me sitting on a porch with grey hair watching our grandchildren play in the yard." I could see it too, and part of me _wanted_ it. "Jake," she whispered hesitantly. "Love you. Not enough, but love you." Oh, Bella.

The corners of my mouth turned up slightly in an almost-smile. "Love you, too, Bells. Not enough, but love you anyways." It felt good to say the words and be honest with myself. The mess that was my thinking process started to relax and calm down.

I felt her sigh against my shoulder and I sighed, too. "Nessie was upset when you just stormed out like that," she whispered against my shirt. It pleased me that the pang in my chest that I felt when I realized I had hurt Nessie was stronger than the pang I felt when I realized that I had hurt Bella. My Nessie. "Edward assured her that you would be back, but I don't think she believed him. She wanted to come after you because she was afraid that she had made you angry. I told her that she had done nothing, and Edward urged me to go after you."

"You know, your daughter is a lot like you," I told Bella lightly. "Stubborn, always blames herself for stuff out of her control, and has the most beautiful chocolate eyes." I sighed, remembering when Bella's were that color.

Bella lifted her head off my shoulder and smacked my arm. "Jake! I don't blame myself for stuff out of my control!" I laughed and rubbed at the spot where she had hit me.

"Sure, sure." I grinned at her. Impulsively, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her, ignoring the putrid vampire smell. "Thanks, Bells." Her cold slender arms hugged me back.

"You're welcome, Jake." She paused, and I knew what she was going to say; I was going to say it, too.

"You really stink," we both said at the same time, and then burst out laughing.

"We'd better get back," she said once the laughter had died down.

"Yeah." I felt happier just knowing that I would see Nessie soon.

I jumped out of the tree and ran towards the Cullen's mansion. I could hear Bella's light footsteps behind me. We entered the house at the same time, and immediately, I had a small half-vampire, half-human girl hugging my legs as tightly as she could. Smiling, I leaned down to pick her up.

"Sorry, Nessie," I told her with a sheepish smile.

She smiled back, and it lit up her entire face. Her chocolate eyes sparkled happily. They were Nessie's chocolate eyes. Not Bella's. They were all Nessie's.

_And that is the end of the oneshot. Thanks for reading it, and reviews are wonderful. Have a good day._

_Mel._


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